Family Journal- Week 1

We sold our house in Idaho and last Thursday, Michael took Lily and Kaylee with him to get our belongings in Idaho. It was strange not to have my big girls around! They are homeschooled so I'm used to having them with me all day. Mallory and Riley go to school so for 4 days I spent several hours with only Matthew and Ella. It was quiet, Matthew was lonely, and I think we were more than ready for them to be home by day two. We kept busy by doing things like playing with blocks and puzzles, reading books, and going to the park, but it wasn't enough to fill the void. They came home on Tuesday and we were sooooo happy!

They came home with a brand new trailer (Michael is so happy to finally have a trailer of his own!) and a TON of stuff. I was elated to find all the journals that I've kept for each of the kids since they were babies; I shed some serious tears reading over some of those entries and I'm so excited to pick up where I left off in each of them. I feel bad that there is a 2 year lapse in them but hopefully I can make up for it.

Along with the journals, they brought so much STUFF. It's crowding our living room and it seems like our amount of laundry has been tripled. I am feeling overwhelmed with all there is to clean, sort, out away, and give away. I'm trying to remember that it takes one step at a time to accomplish these sorts of things and that I WILL get it all sorted out if I just keep going.

Wednesday was full of driving, shopping, and a doctor appointment. Ella had her 2 month check up (though she's nearly 3 months old) and she's a healthy, happy, normal baby. I can't ask for anything more than that! After her appointment we shopped for much needed new clothes; we have a hard time finding jeans that fit these girls properly. What a treat for them! We VERY rarely go clothes shopping so they were extremely excited to be allowed to pick out a few new items of clothing.

After the clothes shopping we went to the grocery store and were delighted to find out that the small store we usually shop at had been transformed into a big, beautiful, normal sized store! A big deal when you live in an area like this! I think I'll actually find myself looking forward to my Smart and Final trips, especially now that the carry Tillamook ice cream!

Thursday was a special day because it was the first day of garbage pick up for the Floyd Family. Haha. We've been loading garbage and hauling it to the dump for 2 years! I don't mind the hauling part but the dump is only open for a few hours 2 days a week and if you forget or can't go for some reason (which happens often!) you're out of luck and the trash piles up beside the house. Gross. I was soooooo happy to drag that can out to the street that morning. Ironically, Michael still had to make a dump run because of all the boxes and garbage that his trip to Idaho created.

Friday! Fridays are the best. Matthew and I started the day with a walk to collect a pretty bouquet for grandma. He had told her the day before that he didn't like her and hadn't been a very nice boy so he needed to do apologize and do something kind for her.

Kaylee and Lily sent Michael and I on a date and that was a lot of fun. A little while later we went to grandma's to deliver the bouquet and we jumped on the tramp and played for a while. I love playing with my kids. I get so caught up in all of my housework, paperwork, and adult responsibilities that I forget to play. I'm so thankful that they remind me to by asking and sometimes insisting that I just play with them. When we got home we made some halloween treats for friends in town. We finished them too late and didn't get to deliver them last night, which was a MAJOR disappointment to some of the girls, but it gave us something to look forward to tonight;)

It was a good week. Nothing out of the ordinary or terribly exciting but just as happy as I could ever hope for. We started a weekly video journal (or vlog or whatever you want to call it) if you'd like to check it out. I reeeeeally want to keep doing it week after week so wish me luck and go subscribe to our channel if you'd like to!

We Went on a DATE!

Today Lily and Kaylee collaborated and came up with the idea to send Michael and I on a date... in our very own kitchen/living room!

Lily took me to her room, did my make-up and picked out a dress and shoes for me to wear. Kaylee styled Michael's hair (it took her longer to get him ready than it took Lily to get me ready!) and picked out a tie that went well with my dress. Then they had me make peanut butter/honey/banana sandwiches and cut them into heart shapes.

When I finished the sandwiches, they finally let us see each other. They sat us at the table and served us water and sandwiches by candlelight. They played country music (Michael's favorite!) and took a few photos then switched the music to some beautiful classical piano and led us to the dance floor (living room). We danced for a few minutes and I was amazed at the look of pure happiness on their faces as they watched us. After that, they led us to the recliner chair which they had placed in front of the TV. They had Singing in the Rain all ready to play for us!

This was an eye-opening experience for me. Michael and I get along well with the occasional squabble. We love each other deeply but I suppose the girls don't often see our concern for one another. When we're together we're busy getting from here to there, doing chores, caring for the kids, working on a project, etc. and the children don't get to see us just being together and enjoying one another's company. We're only able to be quiet together when the kids are away from us or in their beds sleeping.

Today our kids got to witness us just being together and I got to witness how important it is to them to see us loving each other; it means so much more to them than I think any of us can understand. It gave me the determination to never argue in front of them and to make sure that they consistently see Michael and I actively loving and serving one another so that they know without any kind of doubt that their parents care for one another. They need to feel the strength in our relationship because it gives them strength. In our love for one another, they are secure.

"Look at the camera!"

"Now look at each other!"

"Now kiss!"

Happily, kids. Happily.

Disneyland

So, we went to Disneyland all the way back in February and I put a video together of our fun time and then I accidentally deleted it! So many tears. I finally got on my computer to make a new one (I made the first one on my phone) and I don't really know what I'm doing, especially when it comes to music and copyright issues and what I'm allowed to do, so it seriously took almost my whole day so far. I think it was time well spent; I know that we will love having this fun memory to look back on.


In case anyone is interested I ended up buying a license for this song ($12) called Bright & Happy from melodyloops.com. And if anyone has any advice/tips for me I'd love to hear what you have to say:)

Ella at 1 Month

Here is Ella at one month old. She has brought some serious sunshine to our lives. Her siblings love her so much; sometimes they love her TOO much. Matthew can't even handle how much he loves her. He is very affectionate ("Can I kiss her? Can I hug her? Can I hold her? I just want to kiss her! I love Ella.") and it's just about the cutest thing I've ever seen.

We're so glad this little girl came to our family. She enjoys an abundance of love and fits right in.

Our Ella Mae

These photos and this baby are already one month old. How is it that the months after a baby is born fly right by while the months leading up to birth seem to drag on? 

Our little Ella Mae is a month old today. She has brought so much joy to our family. She's everything we imagined she'd be and more, and more, and more.

Here are her first few moments in this beautiful world.

Photography by my lovely sister Geri.

One Month Ago...

I went to bed anxious, fearful, hopeful, joyful. Knowing but not knowing the changes that were about to take place in my life. Excited for my babies to have a new sibling to love and cherish, happy for me to have my arms full instead of my belly full, looking forward to the tender moments in the hospital with just me, my baby, and my loving husband. 

I knew, yet I couldn't know, what I had to look forward to and I hoped and prayed that this baby would come soon.

Wonder of Wonders

It’s 4am on July 21, 2016, my due date with my 6th child! I’m so tired but I can’t sleep and I feel like I want to write.

As I have approached my due date I’ve been thinking about the births of each of my children. I remember thinking only a few hours after Lily was born, “That was easy! I want to do it again, I want a sister for this child!” (She was born via c-section and my morphine hadn’t yet worn off). I was young, 19 years old, and although I was thrilled to have a baby, I took the miracle of conception and birth and the sacredness of it all for granted. It was fun and exciting and I loved Lily to bits but I didn’t and couldn’t have grasped the miraculous event that I had just taken part in. As I have watched her grow and mature over the last 10 years, I am in awe of the wonderful blessing she is in my life. She has brought me an insurmountable amount of joy and is already an example to me of goodness and love. It's hard to believe that this all started with her. My first tiny baby.

Kaylee was born 17.5 very short months after Lily. Back then that year and a half was practically forever; looking back I seem to have blinked and the wait seems to have not existed at all. I had been determined to try for a VBAC with her. My doctor told me after Lily was born that I could never have a vaginal birth; it was too risky. I remember feeling disappointed and angry that he had been so quick to cut me open, potentially altering the course of my life. I had always known that I wanted a lot of children and did NOT want any kind of limit on how many I could have. I was crushed when he told me I could never give birth naturally and I decided to do my own research. I read books, researched articles and statistics, prayed, and determined that I was a great candidate for VBAC. We had moved out to California and though I didn’t have a doctor that I saw regularly (I went to a low income clinic and never saw the same person twice), I was told that if I had my baby at the UCLA Medical Center on Olive View, I could attempt a VBAC. The location was quite convenient as we were living with my grandpa and the hospital is right down the street, minutes away. I labored for 6-7 hours with her and wanted an epidural desperately. Because of the circumstances I was never able to get one. In fact, they brought the anesthetist in and as soon as he walked through the door I had to start pushing! They turned him away telling me it was too late and I was terrified! I had to push a baby out with no pain medication! To my surprise, the contractions were less painful as I pushed through them. Kaylee was born within minutes and I. Felt. Like. Superwoman. I did it! My VBAC was a success! I had defied my silly doctor and without pain meds to boot. I was beside myself with astonishment and I felt proud and was THRILLED with my new baby girl. Throughout my pregnancy they were either reluctant to reveal the gender or just were unable to tell, but I KNEW she was a girl. I was so, SO incredibly happy to have a sister for Lily and I knew that they’d be best friends. They kept me in the hospital for a loooong time after she was born, I’m not sure why, I think they forgot about me! But it gave Kaylee and I lots of snuggle and bonding time. How I adored that new tiny baby.

17.5 months after that found us in Rexburg, ID and this time it was Riley’s turn to join our family. I was a little older, if only slightly, and just the teensiest bit wiser and the blessing and wonder of bringing a child into the world meant more to me than ever. My labor with her was about an hour, a little longer, I think. This time Michael and I were alone; my mom had been present for both Lily’s and Kaylee’s births. Riley was born very early in the morning and afterwards it was just Michael and me and our newest precious baby. The room was so peaceful and quiet and the spirit was tangible. Later in the day we had LOTS of visitors! We were so lucky to live in Rexburg and be surrounded by family. My cousins all came to visit, Geri was there, and my grandpa was even in town; I think it was the only time he came to Rexburg while we lived there. Riley was surrounded by people who loved her and were so happy about her entrance into the world. It was such a fun and special time for our whole family and I will cherish the memory of being in the hospital surrounded by our most favorite people forever.

Nearly 3 years later (what a gap!) it was time for Mallory to make her debut! I had discovered I was 5-6 cm dilated and in labor at my doctor appointment that day. We met the doctor at the hospital a little while later and since I'd had two successful and unmedicated VBAC’s I was unconcerned about doing it for a 3rd time. I let him break my water AND I opted for an epidural. I would not do either again. When he broke my water her heart rate dropped to 60 bpm. It scared the life out of me but we were able to bring it back up quickly with some repositioning. I had an epidural and while it was perfectly lovely to birth a baby with absolutely no pain, I was sore at the injection site and have since learned that epidurals can be scary and that I’d rather birth naturally since it’s tolerable for me and I know I can do it. My mom was there again for this delivery and I adored my nurse who took such good care of me. Mallory was born and bringing a baby into the world seemed more miraculous and spectacular than ever! I can’t begin to describe the joy and peace that I felt. It was so fun and special to have her siblings come in and meet her. It was incredible to look around the room and see how my family had expanded.

2 years later we welcomed little Matt Boy. Oh, that boy! To tell the very honest truth, I had hoped for another girl. I was surprised when they told me he was a boy and didn’t really know what to do with one. But I was excited to meet him. When he was born they put him in my arms and the word “smitten” or the phrase “love at first site” can’t even begin to describe the emotion I felt in that moment. We were meant to be together. My soul had been waiting for his and we belonged to each other. I remember telling him I was his mommy over and over and studying his sweet face and newborn movements, grunts, yawns, oohing and awing over his first sneeze. A newborn baby had never been more miraculous to me than it was right then. Grandma Jan and Michael brought the girls over in the morning and I was amazed that I had FIVE kids. There was so much love, joy, happiness and I knew that it must be what Heaven is like. I absolutely adored watching my girls meet their baby brother. Our family was somehow all crowded around us on top of our little hospital bed and we laughed and giggled at this cute new baby and life was perfect; there was never so much joy in a room.

That last experience was a little over 2.5 years ago and now that I’m about to have another baby the feeling is more surreal than ever! When I found out I was expecting her I wanted to do a monthly photoshoot with my kids holding something that was the same size as she was as she grew in my belly. I’m so terribly unfocused when it comes to that kind of thing that I only ever took one picture. I put a sesame seed on Matthew’s face and snapped a photo. That was in November! Eight months ago, this baby was the size of a sesame seed! Now she is a 7-8 lb baby! If that’s not miraculous, then nothing is. There is a God and He is a God of miracles. Each person walking on this earth is a living, breathing miracle. What a better world this would be if we could all understand that. 

One might think that after being pregnant and giving birth 5 times, it would be no big deal and nothing out of the ordinary for me to have another one, but nothing could be further from the truth! It is still unreal to me that there is a child inside of me wiggling and waiting to be born. She is a fully developed newborn baby and ready to come into the world. How is that possible??? With each baby, the process of conceiving, growing, and birthing a baby becomes more astonishing and more miraculous to me. Everything is more special. The love that I have for my family and my children grows exponentially. I have a deeper love and a greater bond with my dear husband; we did this together! My love for God and my gratitude for Jesus grow, and grow, and grow. Families are miracles. They are special and sacred and they are of God. I am beginning to understand that concept more fully. I am ever grateful for my calling as a mother. I love these kids and being their mom more than I can even begin to express. I wish that I was more eloquent with my words so that I could properly shout out my feelings and have everyone feel what I feel. God has surely blessed me and I don’t know what I have done to deserve it, or if I even deserve the abounding blessings I have at all. I don't. But I praise Him and give Him my thanks for all I have. Everything I have and you have and we have comes from Him and I will never stop giving Him my praise and thanks.

I can’t wait to meet this girl. I can’t wait for her to be a part of our family and for her siblings to meet her and hold her and love her. I’m so thankful for her and for each one of my children. What a joy and a comfort it is to know that we belong to each other forever. Because of Heavenly Father’s plan, every family can be together forever. What a blessing.

 See the sesame seed?

Thanks to my lovely sister Rachel for this artsy photo!

And this one because I can't make this post without a photo of all my babies.